Why I Hate Public Bathrooms

In an effort to increase the cleanliness of public places there are all sorts of automated gadgets in public restrooms but in my opinion they have the ability to make things more awkward. How you ask? This is how:

1. Automatic Flushers
Alot of toilets how have sensors that automatically flush the toilet when a person gets up. This is good because it keeps the toilets clean. This is also bad, have you ever leaned forward and because the sensor sees movement it tells the toilet to flush? All of a sudden you have a very gross bede.

2. Automatic Sensor Lights
Great idea to conserve electricity and save money but the lights should be programmed to stay on longer than 20 seconds without movement. The first time the lights went out I thought that I was stuck in the bathroom with the power out. You shouldn't have to continually wave your arms around while on the john to keep the lights on.

3. Automatic Soap Dispensers
Automatic sinks usually work but automatic soap dispensers never work and when they have automatic dispensers the don't have manual ones. You usually end up scrubbing your hands and trying to make it look like you used soap.

4. Hand Dryers
These never stay on long enough to do anything. You always leave with wet hands and end up drying them right before you leave the bathroom

5. Conversations
The bathroom is not a place to meet new people. Don't talk to me in the bathroom if we've never met. And always observe the Man-Rules.

I'm ready for something new. We'll see what happens

Someday in Heaven

One of my friends posted this on Facebook


Bronco Mendenhall, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around when they came to a modest little house with a faded Cougars flag in the window.

"This house is yours for eternity," said God. "This is very special, not everyone gets a house up here."

The coach felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3-story mansion that had a 50 foot tall flagpole with an enormous UTES flag, and in every window was the UTE logo.

The coach looked at God and said, "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was a good coach. I went to bowl games, sent a bunch of my players on to the pros, and I turned around the entire BYU football program."

God said, "So, what's your question?"

"Well," said the coach, "Why does Kyle Whittingham get a better house than me?"

God responded, "Oh that's not Whittingham's house, that's mine

Mustaches and Bows

I remember when mustaches were cool and it was cool to have one. Great men such as Tom Sellick, Hulk Hogan and Josh Brolin (in movies) had them. Your cool lifty buddies at the ski resort had them. I've grown the occasional mustache because I like it or to annoy my parents but a week ago, all that came crashing down. There's this group of guys who are friends of friends who are all 28 or 29, are still sophomores in college (in terms of # of credits passed) and try to be "the funny guys" but are generally very, very annoying. I saw them at the U's football game last week and they were all wearing black karate suits and ............ mustaches, not because they would normally wear a mustache, but because they thought it was funny. Then I saw an entire photo album on facebook of one of them doing karate moves in his karate suit.........with his mustache. I had shaved mine a few days before for my grandma's birthday party but if I still had it, I would have immediately gone into the bathroom and shaved. Maybe I'll recover from this and grow one again but we'll see.

The other thing is I've been seeing a bunch of stay at home moms setting up websites selling baby bows, bracelets, binky's etc. I saw this one where this girl buys binkys and bejewels them (like what little girls do it kindergarten) and sells them for $20 a pop. I wonder if this is the new tupperware conglomerate or the latest BYU originated Pyramid scheme. It's pretty funny.

Downtown Freddie Brown

I LOVE BEING A UTE!!!! Last night's game against TCU was soooo awesome!!! I'll admit I was kind of worried and I didn't wear my lucky shirt since it was the Blackout game but we pulled it off. I was stoked to see Freddie Brown make a couple clutch catches, including the game winning TD since I had algebra with him a few semesters ago and he's such a humble, nice guy. I can't even describe what it was like being in the MUSS when he scored, I guess the closest word would be pandemonium. People jumping, screaming, hugging whoever is closest to you whether you know them or not. My voice is still recovering and my ears were still ringing when I woke up this morning. Looks like we have a very good shot at making it to the BCS, we just have to beat SDSU and the team down south.

I'm so glad the elections are finally over, I think two years of campaigning is to long. I would have been fine with either candidate winning but I think Obama's going to bring more radical change and sooner. I think our country definitely needs a shake up though. The only disappointing thing about the election is people's reaction. I've heard people say some pretty racist stuff said about President Obama over the last few days which I think is completely uncalled for. I've seen videos of the gay community protesting at the LDS Temples in California. If people participate in an election they should be prepared for the possibility of their party or measures they support losing. If they win, more power to them but be respectful of others if they lose. I though John McCain was as gracious a loser as I've ever seen, I wish more people could follow his lead.